What’s this trust thing God?

April 19, 2012 at 7:48 pm Leave a comment

So…. I’m unemployed. Have been for about three weeks now. I was let go because of “organizational restructuring”. I have some other words to describe what happened to me, but I don’t think it’s very productive to bitterly dwell on the past. Onward and upward, right?

One thing I had determined from the day I was let go, was that I’m going to use this time to really focus on God, and to make him the centre of my life. Of course, it’s easier said than done. One thing about me is that I can be really OCD about things. So is Hubby, but one of the things I am particularly OCD about (as I have several) is planning. Planning time, planning money, planning for the future. While God doesn’t expect us to sit on our butts and be spoon-fed (like The Boy expects it, sigh), that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be doing things blindly. God will give us the next steps, but a little bit at a time. However, you need to listen. Don’t you sometimes feel like you’ve been telling a person the answer and they still can’t see it? It’s like that a lot for us mere mortals.

On my way home from that fateful day, between my former place of work and home, I had formulated a plan. I thought it was a great plan. But back to what I had mentioned before, I’m trying to make God the centre of my life. So it dawned on me a few days later that I needed to turn this plan over to God too. The whole job search. My whole life basically. From an OCD perspective, that’s really, really frightening.

So, I’ve learned a few things these past weeks:

  • Try as I might to plan out things myself, God forced me down a different path. The training path that I had thought I needed, sourced and planned out, didn’t pan out. I’m still taking training, but through a different venue, one that I didn’t want to take in the first place. God is teaching me that I need to depend on him, and not my OCD planning skills that I took so much pride in. My security blanket is now gone.
  • I really had to slow down to learn to listen to God. I still need to slow down.
  • God is teaching me things through The Boy. I mean, try to live your life through the eyes of a child. My son trusts me. He never has to question where food, clothing and shelter will come from, and despite all the todderness messes he gets himself into, I will always love him unconditionally, and he knows that. God is teaching me to trust Him.
  • Through my daily quiet time, prayer with friends and church sermons, He has reassured me over and over that He is watching over me and there is a greater plan for me, one that involves Him.

Today, during my quiet time, a question came up from one of my readings: What difficult circumstance are you facing today? Ask God to help you trust in his provision and plan in the midst of your circumstances.

Yes, again, the trust thing. You think God is trying to tell me something?


Entry filed under: Faith. Tags: , .

Words of Wisdom

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